


Hal/Bruce Ficlet Collection 2016

by DoreyG



Series: Ficlet Collections 2016 [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Age Regression/De-Aging, Community: comment_fic, Crack, Ficlet Collection, Flirting, Hal Jordan is a Ridiculous Human Being, Identity Reveal, M/M, Secret Identity Fail, Unconventional Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5661739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of any Hal/Bruce ficlets that I write that are under 500 words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Thirst

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to collect anything under 500 words I write this year into separate collections, just to cut down on the amount of separate short fics that I post! Not all of these will be in the same universe, not all of these will be connected. More details will be in the individual chapter titles/notes.
> 
> Do, however, prepare for a lot of banging.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thirst is real, much to Barry's dismay.

“Oh my god,” Barry says, giving him a lot that has – before – been reserved for when Darkseid is invading, “no.”

“What?” He asks, blinks innocently. It probably doesn’t work very well, considering that he’s spent over half his life ruining his innocence in as many positions as possible, but it’s the thought that counts, “I was just saying-“

“That, and I quote, “the thirst is real”,” Barry scowls incredulously, and does actually quote him with a little pair of bunny ears that are probably meant to be sarcastic but that turn out somewhere close to adorable, “while staring at Batman, doing shirtless push ups. Tell me, Hal, do you actually want me to throw up all over the Watchtower? Because that’s what’s going to happen.”

“And what’s wrong with me saying that the thirst is real?” He asks. And, again, attempts to look innocent. Judging by the deepening of Barry’s scowl it continues to not work, but that’s why he’s got a willpower ring and not a throwing-a-tantrum-and-giving-up-immediately ring, “it’s accurate.”

“That makes it worse!”

“ _How_?”

“If it isn’t accurate you’re mocking me. Which, y’know, is cruel but acceptable as the foundation of our friendship up until this point,” Barry fixes him with a beseeching look, which is again adorable but so ineffectual that he’d burst out laughing at it if he was only a tiny bit more of a dick, “if it is accurate... I have to think about you and Batman having _Sex_.”

“Me and Bruce Wayne, playboy billionaire,” he points out cheerfully, and is treated to the unique sight of Barry having to close his eyes against the horror of the universe, “in possession of so many sex toys...”

“Hal,” Barry says weakly, “for all our years of friendship...”

“And so many padded rooms,” he continues wickedly, well aware that he’s too much of a dick to pass up this opportunity, “honestly, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to hear about them! Or combinations of them. There was this one time, with a dildo-“

“Hal!” Barry yells, and claps his hands over his ears. Sends him the most vengeful glare he’s ever seen on Barry Allen’s sweet and innocent face, “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” he chirps cheerily. But, in a blur of red, Barry has already darted away. Off to save the world, or weep helplessly in a corner somewhere.

...Well, serves him right for all those Rogues’ orgies he attended but didn’t invite him to. He smiles, smugly. Gives a long stretch, and settles back against the wall to watch Bruce keep exercising. There’s a lot of thirst still to satisfy, after all, and he doesn’t want to miss a drop.


	2. Winter to Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce unmasks himself, and Hal surprises both of them with his reaction.
> 
> [A/N: Not in canon with the nu52 version of their first meeting.]

“Whoa,” he says when Bats peels his cowl off over his head after the fight, runs his hand through surprisingly thick black hair, “I mean, _whoa_.”

Bats stares at him for a second, with eyes bluer than the sky, and then actually fucking smiles. The guy has a nice smile, he’d probably be better able to appreciate it if he wasn’t in shock at the sudden appearance of it after all this time, “surprised?”

“That...” he says, staring at the wrinkles around Bats’ eyes – the map of slight lines that actually make him _human_ , “is a bit of an understatement.”

“Most people,” Bats sighs - and his hair sticks up from where it was shoved under the cowl, and the wrinkles are deep around his eyes, and he looks so very human, and he looks so fucking perfect that he can’t believe he never noticed it before, “don’t expect billionaire Bruce Wayne to be Batman. It’s the kind of thing that provokes shock, or so I’m told.”

“I... Have no idea who billionaire Bruce Wayne is,” he says honestly, and steps forward before he thinks about it – finds himself staring right into _Bruce’s_ surprised blue eyes, “don’t really keep up with the gossip columns, y’know? No, that’s not why I’m surprised.”

“Oh?” Bruce asks, and actually blinks. Like a human, for the first time in all the years they’ve known each other, “then...?”

“I’m surprised,” he says, very deliberately – still caught by Bruce’s wrinkles, Bruce’s ruffled hair, the look in Bruce’s eyes, “because I never once realized how absolutely fucking gorgeous you are under that mask. You free any time this week?”

“Oh,” Bruce repeats softly, stares at him... Slowly, ever so slowly and ever so beautifully, smiles again, “I’m sure that something can be arranged.”


	3. Walking Primrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal doesn't really intend to keep having sex with Bruce, but it keeps happening anyway.

"Dammit," Hal says petulantly, his voice still ragged, "I _promised_ myself that I wouldn't do it again."

They're both still naked. There are scratches down his spine and bruises on his back where Hal dug his heels in, and his brain still isn't quite functioning at full capacity. He blinks a few times, and then gives up, "Jordan?"

"Bats," Hal huffs, somewhat sulkily.

"What on _earth_ are you talking about?"

"Every time I know I'm going to see you - on league business, or personal business, or _whatever_ business - I make myself a promise," Hal explains and he probably _means_ to sound patient, but still somehow manages to resemble a petulant teenager, "can you guess what that promise is?"

Sometimes he wonders why he always ends up being attracted to people like this. Sometimes, just sometimes, he's too busy despairing, "Jordan."

"'I will not get naked this time'," Hal reveals, with a flourish that can be called melodramatic at best, "'I will not get naked this time'! And do you know what I do every fucking time?"

"I have some idea," he says, so dryly that he's almost surprised the room doesn't transform into a desert around them.

" _I get fucking naked_!" Hal screeches, barely catches his breath afterwards and also barely stops himself from falling off the bed in a ridiculous tumble, "Christ, the amount of times we meet in our daily lives it's a miracle I haven't sprained something..."

"The amount of times we meet in our daily lives," he says, perhaps cruelly but good _god_ how has this become his life, "it's a miracle I haven't asked you to move into the manor yet."

"...You _dick_!"

It makes no difference. The next time they meet each other - no matter how ridiculous it is, no matter how many promises are made - he knows it'll be the same. They'll yell, they'll kiss, clothes will come off and that'll be it.

Good _god_ what has his life become.


	4. A Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal gets aged down, but it doesn't exactly stop him from wanting Bruce.
> 
> [Warning: Mild underage in this chapter. In California, at least?]

“Jordan-“ he starts warningly, hisses out air as Hal slides right up against him and _bites_ down on his neck, “ _Jordan_. What age did the spell take you back to again?”

Hal shoots him a look that can only be called insolent, licks his lips. And if he thought the adult Hal Jordan was gorgeous, a thought that he’s going to deny if anybody dares to ask, the teenage version is something else altogether. He’s _lovely_ – something lithe, and soft, and so unreservedly eager that it’d take a saint to resist him.

He’s never been a saint, the ears tend to get in the way of the halo. He pushes Hal back only a little, catches his breath for only a moment before asking: “are you legal, at least?”

“...In most countries, I think,” Hal offers sullenly, and looks absolutely delighted as he drags them back together – drapes pliantly into his lap in a way that the adult Hal Jordan would never allow in a million years, “c’mon, Bruce, I need you _inside_ me.”

“Hn,” he says, as the only safe option, and allows Hal to grind down against his thigh. Only stops him when one hand reaches for his belt, scrabbles at the leather with youth-clumsy fingers, “I really should stop this, Jordan. Contact Zatanna for a solution. Or, considering what hit you, maybe even Constantine...”

Hal leans back again, sends him an outraged glance.

“Get him to examine you,” he continues, perhaps a touch cruelly as he takes in the sheer force of Hal’s beauty, “run a thousand tests, while I just stand back and watch...”

“ _Bruce_ ,” Hal whimpers desperately, grinding down onto his thigh again, and-

Well, being a saint has always seemed rather counterproductive anyway. He smirks, largely to himself, and drags Hal back in. He might as well enjoy this development, for as long as the universe lets him have it.


End file.
